1. |
Pilot
03:46
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i'll let you inside my head
but it's as ugly as i feel when my dysphoria gets the best of me
nowadays i stand in the middle of the road
cause nothing's real
and if i thought i could survive
i'd stay home and smoke myself to sleep
i don't wanna be here
i don't wanna be alive
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2. |
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i'm giving up
so let me know
how to be happy alone
i tell myself
that i won't break
i'm afraid that i'm on my way
almost is good enough but not enough
i promise that i try
but then i'm drowning in makeup
i paint all my insides
simple moments and phrases
they seem to pass you by
but if i love it then i'll frame it
as a moment in my life
so i got a dog
but damn she bites
it stings but i'll be alright
it's in my head
when i found love
i think then i fuck it up
sometimes i'm good enough
but not enough
in the seasons of my life
when i wake up in the evenings
i'm looking like i died
and it's always an ice age
but i try to stay alive
be my heat and
be my light
all my life
i take what i'm prescribed
to prevent my suicide
so break the ice i know i'm cut up like i'm christ
but i know i'm not coming back alive
not coming back alive
so get away
shut me up
am i loving you way too much
yeah i've done wrong
how i atone
i scream into microphones
tell them i'm good enough
but tell them stuff that makes me look alive
when i'm fading in the nightmare
that you all call a life
and i'm so sorry to say this
but i've gotta say goodbye
yeah i know just how you hate this
but promise you'll survive
i'm walking out
without my coat
maybe i'll feel at home
the nights that i'm left alone
come outside i know you won't
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3. |
Boy In A Dress
06:20
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i never learned to play the guitar
just a healthy way to get out my emotions
and i like it when people talk to me
because it's proof that i exist
i'm not sure what my face looks like
ever since i broke all the mirrors in my house
but i know what i sound like
no i don't thing i look like a boy in a dress
i'm sorry for what i said
i know it doesn't matter anymore
the thought of being him
makes me wanna but a gun inside my head
so don't go looking for old photographs
if you find one burn it too
i don't wanna think about those days
i don't wanna think about those days
i don't think it's fair for you
to be asking me these questions
like i'd ever know the answer
i just take my medicine and hope for the best
don't ask me any favors
anxiety anxiety
comes out more when you utter he
makes me miss the days of summer keif
that made me dream so perfectly
i thought the pipe could help me wipe
the tears that came all dressed in white
but now the tears all turned to sway
my mood that shifted into may
anxiety anxiety
ben hopkins fucking lied to me
made me hate the girl i wanna be
won't you shrivel up and die in peace
now the government stole my way to cope
and i'm lying here without a hope
i hardly ever think just right
but i fell down to my knees last night
i prayed to god she'd send a rope
so i could climb my right outta this or
or tie a noose and kick the chair
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4. |
Please Don't Fight
06:20
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please don't fight
she's obviously sick
but i don't mind if you want to stay anyway
i don't know what i'm supposed to tell you
she doesn't love you and that's just the way it is
now she's got you fogging up the mirror
it's hard to sleep with shit like this going down upstairs
so please don't fight
you don't know how far she is gone
and you know your'e spitting venom anyway
my dreams are filled with endless shouting from the room next to mine
i'd like to take a walk but i'm not sure if i remember how
to tie my shoes so i don't trip and paint the sidewalk
glowing red lights fill my eyes they yell to stop
the chaos brewing in my mind's eye
says i don't think i can hold on
but wait for me to say i'm not ready for this song to end
please don't fight
she's obviously sick
but i don't mind if you want to stay anyway
i don't know what i'm supposed to tell you
she doesn't love you and that's just the way it is
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5. |
My Head On A Plate
04:58
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painfully sober and losing my head
my mind goes to work but i stay in bed
all my ideas will soon go to waste
if i can't go outside let the sun see my face
i live off of coffee and nicotine hills
the gateway to nowhere in spite of these pills
i can't stress enough that i don't understand
the meaning of me or the thoughts in my hands
i lie here and wait with my head on a plate
for a silver spoon, the cure to my ache
my hands on my eyes, coughing up smoke
i'm higher than most but i'm bound to choke
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6. |
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7. |
A Happy Song
01:52
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8. |
All My friends
09:13
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all my friends are afraid of me
they don't know how to be there for me
she tells me hey put the safety on
cause i don't wanna see
i don't wanna see you gone
i think i might take a hit or two
cause i don't know where i
i don't know where i belong
hey god
are you listening
or am i just shouting words to outer space
if i was an astronaut i'd fly far away
far away from here
but i'm grounded and i'm still me so
i'll just keep screaming, praying frantically
hey mister
what's your story?
do you know what it's like to be in misery?
he rolls up his sleeves and he shows me from scars
from a life, a life he left behind
i feel obliged so i show him mine
and the stories start coming my tears start rolling down
and all my regrets
come down to nothing if i can't resist
the urge
to slit my wrist and bleed out all my love
if i dig
deep enough
will i find hell or just burn up?
who am i
but the freak who fucked up one too many times
part of me hates you
part of me loves you
part of me needs you
nobody knows how close i came
how often i still think about those days
nobody knows how close i came
how often i still think about it think about it
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Party Fridge Kansas City, Kansas
bailey, elijah and soph play some songs
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